ALAS!... Seems like Christmas this year has fikad mapema kidogo or what ? .... coz all that you be seeing is " reflected colors " - blue, red, blue, red in that fashion flickering all over the dark surroundings. The melodious riddim ain't even sounding close to that of " jingles bells " rather, it sounds kitu like wiu wiu wiu wiu. For sure it's you hata even if you try convince yourself ati " haiya pengine it's not me! "

    Honestly mwanacountry, you know very well that even if " P.N " was rallying behind you, ungekuwa ume muwacha mataani - ka sijui 20 traffic lights behind .....  in simple terms, you had gone past the barrier of one stating that you were giving Patrick Njiru compe ..... if anything, may be you were headed for breaking the sound barrier record coz as the way things indicated & headed for, ............... the speedometer stick was about to make / clock another " lap of honor " (Kipchoge Keino style) eh si usare!

   Things are mbaya-mbofu at this point. You have been pulled off. The clock of your jalopy indicates it's " 6.51 AM ". Woi! You won't make it on time. There goes your last odiero's warning ..... not to be late for work. Jijazie tu - You have been fwayad!

    On the mirror you see the guka (old) ponyi akijivuruta walking mwendo wa aste aste. Ironically the CD player be bumpin' " mos mos mos mos - pole pole - mos mos - twazienda - mos mos - haraka haraka haina baraka". You pull out your insurance na leseni chap chap as time is against your side.

   You know 4 sure you are beyond guilty but your little ubongo tells you there's something you can say that will let you ponyoka.

   Mwananchi what do you say ? Should you go with ...  " Ushikwapo shikamana ", ama there's something neat that can be said just to let you slip this total balaa ? Bado 9 minutes ..... & time is ticking.

   The karao finally fikas to your window & asks you chomoa the necessary. Next he asks you if you know why he had stopped you. You end up saying YES plus either the following neat lines below .......

 - I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far ahead they are!
 - Oooh your a policeman ? I thought you were just another speeder ! I was trying to get away so that you didn't hit me!
 - I'm sorry I was speeding officer but I have diarrhea.
 - Please ociffer, i swear to drunk im not god.
 - Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar wasn’t plugged in.

    Well, you've just received a free ticket from a ponyi whose face seemed to be screaming " you idiot! " You quickly throw the ticko into the glove compartment & off you are .....  masaa.

   You fika Jobo 10 minutes later at 7.01 AM (phew 1 minute "late") ... just to find out that you got the parking spot that you always eye on daily ( the closest one to main entry of the building). Weirdly also your ride is the only car on the entire parking lot. Wsup with that ? Kwani today is a Holiday ama what ?

   You decide to reach your workmate on your celli to know as to whether that day is a public holiday that you did not know of. As you are just about to flip your celli  & dial, you happen to pay attention on the LCD display outside your flip phone celli indicating the time, day & date to be " 6.03 AM Mon Oct 31st " !

    6.03 AM ? You look at your ride's clock & it seems to be indicating otherwise " 7.03 AM ". oooh poor mwananchi pulls out the ticket to confirm time it was issued. Guess what? Citation states -" 5.52 AM " 

   Now why on earth were you Patrick Njiru'ing to work. See how rally driving & failing to adjust your state's zone time minus 1hr time is costly? Look at how happy you boss aka odiero is happy that you got to work early (i.e. you got a heavy speeding ticket). He goes further to sema " I know it's that time of the year when your punctuality to work is erroneously observed! "

   Grrrrr !@#$%. There goes another pay check direct from the hands of your odiero to the hands of the city!

Chalo XP.